Where Art Thou?

  Why aren’t you helping?  Where is the love that is supposed to be shown?  Don't YOU CARE?  The questions we ask ourselves when we don’t see God moving in our lives or working through us.  It’s soooo easy to play the blame game for life not going our way, but the finger that you point should always be turned around and pointing at you first, before you ever think of blaming others especially God.

  It’s funny when we get impatient and try to force things to happen or hurry up and go find out why things are the way they are.  These are the times when God just sits back and watches us, how we act, what we say, where is our heart.  I recently was in serious need of some money; I was down to my last $20.  Instead of doing what I know I should do and what I tell others to do I decided to go it alone and see what I could make happen.  After all we are called to action, to be doers right? 

  Without going into all the details for the whole world to see, let’s just say I wasted plenty of gas running around to places that I didn’t need to go to.  Instead of trusting that God has my best interest in mind and that He keeps me and watches over me, I was determined to acquire the money needed for bills.  There was no morning prayer or bible reading, heck He wasn’t even on my mind to be honest.  It wasn’t until I wasted all that gas and running around in futility that I finally came to the end of myself, and turned back to Him.  Now this is while I’m driving home in desperate need, my mind racing on ways to do this or that, or how I’m going to alter or change my plans and strategies.  I wasn’t at peace, I didn’t feel warmth, or hear a voice saying it’ll be alright, nothing, just me and my thoughts.

  I’m home now after driving allover and it occurs to me that I was relying on myself for my needs, when in the bible we read that HE supplies ALL our needs according to His riches and glory.  A simple truth I’ve stated over and over thousands of times in the past but I’ve never really had to completely lean on that statement like yesterday.

   I’ve was in the military for 12 years and 5 months, that’s 634 guaranteed paychecks not even including bonuses or extra pays here and there.  I had no need to rely on God for my money supply or bills, the government met my needs. I still remember Jesse Duplantis saying at our church in Hawaii years ago, “Your job is not your supply or security, God is your supply and security.  If you’re relying on your job and your talents to pay your bills and get you by then you’ll be disappointed when you’re not getting ALL that God has promised.”  If we do this to ourselves, where we work really hard and RELY on those paychecks, how can we get upset at God if HE doesn’t supply everything according to His riches and glory, EVEN IF we pay our tithe?

  After going thru this retarded, self inflicted experience I now see and understand that this doesn’t just happen to me, I’m sure it happens to thousands or millions around the world.  We ask, seek, pray, and fast but we miss the point COMPLETELY!!!!  We truly are destroyed for our lack of understanding.  I know I wasn’t doing my part, so why should that obligate Him to do His part.  Because He’s God?  Because He’s the definition of love?  God didn’t move on my behalf UNTIL I came to the end of myself, and my efforts to correct a situation.  When I was done trying to help myself, and decided to just let Him be Him and let me be me, that’s when peace came.